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In the quiet

In the quiet of the early morning, when just the dog and I are active, I ponder our lives. I think about each child and how I am addressing his or her needs. I consider my husband and how I am meeting and interpreting his needs. I even, sometimes, think about myself and what I need.

The truth is, I come last for myself. My husband goes above and beyond to show me I am first to him. But to myself, I am an afterthought. My husband, children, home, friends, and world at large come before me.

I am tied right now. Tied to home because of a virus we weren't globally prepared for. Tied to the five people who live here because we are following the "stay home" directive in our state. We are going only to open air trails as just out family, or necessary grocery shopping.

My ability to help my family, friends, and world has been adjusted. I can do everything at home that I normally do. I can't spend time with other people in person. I can't show love in person. I am tied.

I have had to adjust my own expectations about how to be a light in this darkness. There is little I can do, but I can write for you and I can sew. I am making masks for those on our medical front lines. Hopefully, they will ensure a nurse or custodian goes home to their family without bringing unnecessary exposure to them.

I can shop for elderly friends who are struggling with grocery delivery service availability. I can babysit for friends who still have to work, but whose schools and daycares are closed. I can help new to the homeschooling world families navigate this impossible time. I can tutor remotely for those students who have lost the supportive environment of school.

When we approach the world with an "I can" attitude rather than an "I can't" one, we can be more effective in our goals. A fellow allergy mom taught me that lesson regarding food when I was crying in my bed about all the foods I could no longer enjoy due to my son's 60+ food allergies which he reacted to while breastfeeding. Now, I pass it to you. This time, about the things you can do while trapped. The things I can do while trapped. Learn a language or a craft. Learn a game. Learn to code.

We have time to sit in the quiet and be passively active now. Let's change our world.

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