We're not perfect (shocker, I know)
This morning, we took Will's cell phone on which he'd been able to read, email, and play a couple approved games. He didn't have a lot of capability. But he did have enough to be sneaky. Leigh caught him watching a video on it while I was shopping. This is on the heels of two incidents of catching Will watching Netflix on his computer which he largely used for school and the sanctioned Minecraft or Ori game. We disabled Netflix. He found a way to watch dragon things anyway.
We are very careful about our kids' electronics and internet access. But Will bypassed it. We missed it for a long time. He knew what he was doing was wrong. He said he was trying to stop,but couldn't and didn't know why.
He has zero access to any internet anything for a while right now. We need to get to the cause of his poor choices so we can help him. He's feeling compulsion to videos. Removing access for a time, and openly discussing what he is thinking and feeling when he is driven to that desire will hopefully help us and him.
We must attack this compulsion now before what he's looking at is dangerous in some way. He is only 10 now, but it won't be long before he is a teen, and the desires are strong but lead to other things. We have built a trusting relationship and Will admitted he trusts Leigh and I, but not himself with his difficulties.
Because of how well we had locked down electronics and how open we had been about how and when they were used, we hoped to avoid this sneaking, lying issue. We didn't. Perhaps you will. But, if, like us, you fail, act quickly and lovingly. Remove all access. Only allow internet when direct supervision is possible. Discuss the reason for supervision, and what dark things lie in wait for unsuspecting, curious kids. Talk to your kids about why they are drawn to the tech. Figure out what is happening in their lives, hearts, and brains when the compulsions arise. We are asking Will to speak to us, or journal his experiences. We will pay attention, and find the cause. Then address it. We will work through his struggles and feelings so we can equip him with the tools to use tech responsibly. You can too.